Lochlyn

I have the wonderful fortune of teaching with three wonderful ladies.  One of them, Lori, recently became a Mumsy.  A couple of weeks ago I got to photograph her beautiful grand baby!

Reflections of Knoxville

Park benches at the Convention Center

The Bijou reflected in a building across the street

The bridge connecting UT to Chapman Hwy.

The Methodist Church on Chapman Hwy.

A cool doorway

Apartment buildings repeatedly reflected in the side of the

convention center

A building reflected in a puddle

 

the Sunsphere in a puddle

Star burst 

The Sunsphere in the side of the Convention Center

Cool row of trees

Maggie and Maya

My first "photo shoot" was of Maya.  

Now, we have a new Evatt girl to take pictures of!  

Sweet baby Maggie.

Do you not know? Have you not heard?

I think this is one of my favorite parts of Isaiah.  I love how he asks Israel if they remember God.  Do you remember how awesome he is?  I sometimes wonder how they could forget...and then I look at my own life.

Isaiah 40: 25-30
²⁵ “To whom will you compare me?
   Or who is my equal?” says the Holy One.
²⁶ Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens:
   Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one
   and calls forth each of them by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
   not one of them is missing.  ²⁷ Why do you complain, Jacob?
   Why do you say, Israel,
“My way is hidden from the LORD;
   my cause is disregarded by my God”?
²⁸ Do you not know?
   Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
   the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
   and his understanding no one can fathom.
²⁹ He gives strength to the weary
   and increases the power of the weak.
³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
   and young men stumble and fall;
³¹ but those who hope in the LORD
   will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
   they will run and not grow weary,
   they will walk and not be faint.

What if?

I've been asked to take photos at my friend's wedding.  There are no words to describe the joy and fear I have inside of me at this exact moment.

I feel like Indiana Jones in The Last Crusade.  The part where he's standing at the edge of a huge abyss.  His dad's notes are telling him to jump.  Have faith…and walk across the abyss.  He hesitates…as would anyone faced with this dilemma.  Two choices are before him. He can go back to what he knows.  What feels safe.   But, if he chooses this path, his dad will probably die.  Or, he can (pardon the pun) take a leap of faith.  If he choses to leap, his dad will most likely live and he will go finding things that belong in museums.

Two things I know for sure.  Number one: I want out of teaching.  Number two: I love to take pictures.

So many questions, unknowns and doubts surround me.  What if I leap and there is no camouflaged ledge there to catch me?  What if I screw the wedding pictures up?  What if I can't take pictures as well as others who do this for a living?   What if I quit my job and then I don't make any more money with photography?  What if I'm supposed to teach?  What if I could make it as a photographer but I don't step out on faith? What does God want?!  What if….what if…WHAT IF?

Ummm…I have a question.

I ask A LOT of questions sometimes.  Okay, pretty much all the time.  I can't help it.  I ask them for the two main reasons most people ask questions:  1. I don't know and 2. I want to know more.  This morning
I was reading from Isaiah 49:5-7 (MSG)

"And now," God says, this God who took me in hand from the moment of birth to be his servant, to bring Jacob back home to him, to set a reunion for Israel - What an honor for me in God's eyes!  That God should be my strength!  He says, "But that's not a big enough job for my servant - just to recover the tribes of Jacob, merely to round up the strays of Israel.  I'm setting you up as a light for the nations so that my salvation becomes global!"  God, Redeemer of Israel, the Holy of Israel, says to the despised one, kicked around by the nations, slave labor to the ruling class:  "Kings will see, get to their feet - the princes, too - and then fall on their faces in homage because of God, who has faithfully kept his word, The Holy of Israel, who has chosen you."

I so glad God's plan included more than the Jews.  I'm so glad that God's plan to put his family back together includes me, well EVERYBODY!  I've never questioned God or his existence.  I don't struggle with "is there a God?"  I don't know if it's the way I was raised or if I was created that way.  But for that, I am thankful.

This is good, because pretty much everything else is subject for questioning.

I don't have a good title for this one, but you have to have a title so I typed in this

My mom got me a devotional book for Christmas.  I admit I'm not real big on devotional books.  Mostly because the whole purpose is to spend time with God everyday.  I usually start off strong.  Reading the devotion, reading my Bible and praying.  Then...life happens and the devotional books sits beside my bed mocking me.  A small reminder that I'm a failure, again.   I usually don't even start reading them anymore.  For some reason I've started this one.  And I can honestly say I'm glad.  Not so much for the insight from the author (which isn't bad).  More for the scripture she has us read (I'm surprised the scripture is good and applicable to my life - ha!)   I think I'm going to start posting the scriptures that really "jump" out at me.  Not so that I can add these wonderful, "life changing" thoughts to them.  No, a more selfish reason.  My hope is that by typing them and re-reading my posts, I will commit some of these to memory.   I hope that if you are reading these, they will speak to you too.


Today is a combination of two days:

Job 12: 13 (MSG)
"True wisdom and real power belong to God; from him we learn how to live, and also what to live for."

Ecclesiastes 5:1-6 (MSG)
"Watch your step when you enter God's house.  Enter to learn.  That's far better than mindlessly offering a sacrifice, doing more harm than good.  Don't shoot off your mouth, or speak before you think.  Don't be too quick to tell God what you think he wants to hear.  God's in charge, not you - the less you speak, the better.  Over-work makes for restless sleep, over-talk shows you up as a fool.  When you tell God you'll do something, do it - now.  God takes no pleasure in foolish gabble.  Vow it, then do it.  Far better not to vow in the first place than to vow and not pay up.  Don't let your mouth make a total sinner of you."

Tyson

Here are a few pictures of a new favorite subject.  He and big sister Elliot are just about the cutest kids around!  Here's hoping for more opportunities to take pictures of them!

the most wonderful time of the year

  I used to love this time of year as a child.  What happened?!  

I know I'm not the only one that suffers from loosing the "magic" of Christmas.  I've talked with many people about this and all seem to wish to live in the past.  Wanting to recapture memories of their youth.  Why?

As I look at my Christmas holiday this year I find myself more on the Grinch side than the Holly and Jolly. Why?

I have no idea.  I have no sage advice.  I don't even know the correct questions to ask.

I know the story behind Christmas...I try to live it out everyday.  I know the "true meaning" of Christmas.  I know it's not about the gifts.   I know it comes every year.  I also know it comes with a lot of work.  Maybe that's what I'm growling about.  Christmas = LOTS of work.

I'll have to sit and ponder that one for a while...

I taught them in kindergarten

Here are a few pictures I took of some of my favorite people!  I've known these girls since the oldest was five!  I taught both of them when they were in kindergarten.  Now look at them, beautiful young ladies.  My how time flies!

Finished pictures - Tyson in the hospital

These are just some of my friend's new son!  The whole family was adorable to watch.  Especially big sister!  I think one of my favorites is the one where she's giving him love-ins.

Goldeneye

My husband surprised me with a Wii game last night.  James Bond - Goldeneye.  I must admit when Emma walked in through the garage door and announced Jake had bought something for me, I wasn't expecting a Wii game.  I couldn't believe he had remembered how much I like to play James Bond!  I was touched and surprised all at the same time!   I think he was embarrassed as he showed it to me.  It didn't help that my girls small group was sitting around the kitchen table watching.  :)

When we were first married we used to go to a friend's house and play James Bond for hours.  There were four of us and four controllers.  Looking back on it, I can't believe we played on such a small TV!  I guess for the time back then it was "big".  With what we have now, the screen seems so small!  Anywhoo....

We stayed up until ten shooting at each other.  (I know ten isn't THAT late in the adult world.  However, I am usually in bed asleep by then on a school night.)  It was so much fun!  The game was also a lot harder than I remember it.  I think I need to get used to the controllers again.  I also think I need to find someone else to play against that hasn't had military training.  During our last game, Jake parked his character on top of a roof and played the role of sniper quite well.  Hmmmm...makes me wonder if he really is just a "computer geek" for the Air Force after all.  :)

Thanksgiving thoughts

As I sit here in the bedroom, I hear my husband talking to my girls.  He is teaching them the fine art of pie crust making.  Sadly, I cannot make a pie crust.  Not for lack of trying or lack of teaching.  No, I simply cannot make a decent pie crust.

I love the conversations they are having in between the instructions.  I listen to him patiently explain why you have to add certain ingredients at certain times.  I hear their eager responses as they both want to be the one to add to the mixture.

My heart is swelling with contentment.  As the Thanksgiving holiday fast approaches I am thankful for many, many things.  I am blessed with a wonderful house, two fabulous daughters, ten chickens and two mangy mutts.  I have a job and money in the bank.  We are all healthy.  I have good friends and live in a country that allows me to be free.  My family will be together (minus the Las Vegas crew) for Thanksgiving.

As I type my thoughts are interrupted by laughter from the kitchen.  

I think most of all...this year...I am thankful for the man I married.

Maya part two

Here are some of the photos from my last photo shoot.  (I can't believe I'm typing the words photo shoot!  Whoo Hoo!!)

Maya was a lot of fun to shoot!  Her favorite word of the day:  "No".   Once she warmed up to the idea of me and the camera we had a lot of fun running around the playground!

Tidbits

Wow!  It's been a while since I last blogged...I could sit here and list the thousand and one things I had going on between now and October 11th.  Frankly...that would be rather tiresome.  And, since I'm exhausted from doing them the first time around, I'd rather not re-live them by typing them out.

And now on to other fun things...first, my husband made it home safe and sound from officer's school!  Yeah!  I'm so glad to have another adult around the house.  Being a single mom for six weeks sure makes you appreciate your spouse when they return.  Kuddos to those of you out there that single parent every week!

Second, my husband surprised me last Sunday with a most fabulous gift.  A brand new Mac Book!  I am soooo excited I can't stand it!  He also bought me Photoshop Elements to play with.  I couldn't believe it when I came home and saw the box sitting on the kitchen table.  All I could do was scream, run around the house and scream some more!   I have been hinting that I wanted one for a LONG time.  However, that was one of those hints that I knew would never be truly listened to due to lack of funding.   Apparently he got a nice check from the military and decided to spend it on me!  Have I mentioned that I love this man I'm married to?

Third and final exciting news...I have three photo shoots lined up!  I hope this is just the beginning of a long and happy time of taking photos of people and bringing a little happiness into their lives!

favorite song #456

I have so many favorite songs.  This one is from Rich Mullins.  

Well, sometimes my life
Just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something
I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees

And this Salvation Army band
Is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin 

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf You have been King of my glory Won't You be my Prince of Peace 

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

my FOUR promises.

Life is all about ups and downs.  There are bumps in the road and points of divided roads (and I chose the one less traveled).  Moments of triumph and moments of failure.  It seems that as I look back over my short life I see more moments of struggle than anything else.  I don't begin to compare my life to anyone else in this world.  I can only look at my 33 years and no one else.  Over my life I have had promises made and promises broken.  I have struggled the most with one promise in particular. 

I have begged this person to give me my promise back.  I have struggled and wrestled with my inability to understand why this promise has been withheld from me.  After two years of this fight I finally gave it to my Abba.  Funny, but this struggle was again met head on at a small group.  My belief in God working through others is renewed and strengthened!   I would not bring my desire of renewed promises to this person again.  If the subject is brought up it would be from God working in this person. 

At church we are studying Exodus.  One teaching mentioned the Passover meal and the four cups and how they are drunk in remembrance of God's four promises to the Israelites.  One cup for each promise.   My attention was grabbed at the word promise.  As I sat there and listened to the promises being read I couldn't get past the word promise.

"I will bring you out"
"I will rescue you"
"I will redeem you"
"I will take you as my own people"

As the promises were read again we were asked to repeat them.  As I said them I began to weep.  There are moments when the Spirit speaks to our souls.  This was one of those moments.  As I sat there and cried the Spirit whispered the promises to me, surrounding me with his grace. 

Carrie, I will bring you out of this...you already have.
Carrie, I will rescue you...I need rescuing.
Carrie, I will redeem you...Thank you Jesus!
Carrie, I will take you as my own...grace undeserved, relentlessly pursued, I don't understand but I will accept

As I was thinking about this promise made to me...it hit me.  Not only did God give me my promise I so desired...he gave me four.

it's the little things

Every month I receive flowers from my husband.  To some (mostly men) this seems like a waste of time and money.  It makes me feel loved and thought of.  (Isn't that what we women want?)  Jake usually waits until the last day of the month to get me flowers...I don't care what day it is...I love getting them!  

Being the good wife that I am, I had resigned myself to fact that I wasn't going to receive any flowers this month.  (Seeing how Jake has no access to the internet or money AND he is 300 miles away, I figured this month, I'd cut him some slack.) 

Friday, during my reading group time, my Curriculum Coach walks into my  room holding a huge box.  It was a white and purple flower box!  My hands trembled as I opened the box.  Inside were some of the most beautiful roses I have ever seen!  Pink, yellow and orange blossoms were nestled inside the box next to a card.  Tears immediately filled my eyes as I read the note attached:  "I didn't forget". 

I am so lucky.

(clear your throat)

Hear ye!  Hear ye!

Let it be known....we are at the half-way point until Jake returns!

Children are still alive...grass has been mowed...lunches packed...dishes done...laundry folded...chickens fed.

Only three more weeks to go!

Oh ye of little faith

I have been up since two o'clock in the morning.  My body has laid in bed, my mind has been racing, trying to go through all that must be accomplished this week.  The cherry on top was the fact that my dogs had a vet appointment today and I only have $90 in the bank as of last night, at midnight.  Let me explain this quandary...

I get paid on the 25th of each month.  Not bad, if you plan and budget.  It usually gets tight towards the last week, not unusual.  These past two months we've been paid on the 20th.  So, one would naturally assume this month we would get paid on the 20th. 

Nope.

So, I've had one extra week of no check.

But Carrie, you remind me, you have a savings. 

Yeah, we DID have one.  Jake took most of it getting ready for officer's school.  (Did you hear that really DEEP sigh I just sighed?)

So, I'm back to no money and a vet appointment.  I decide that I'm gonna have to reschedule.  When?  I have no idea.  So, I get up out of bed, fix some coffee, grab the calendar and phone and look up the vet's number.  Something, rather someone, prompts me to look at my bank again.  I do so knowing how futile this was going to be and I would only further my depression by looking.  But, the feeling would not go away so, I looked up my account online.

HOLY COW!  Where did that money come from?!  The Air Force paid Jake?!  Today?!  But the Air Force only pays Jake on the 15th and 30th of every month.  Unless I'm Rip Van Winkle, it's neither of those days.

I cry.  I praise my God.  I cry some more.

I guess the military does answer to a higher power.

Now, I'm at peace and the dogs will get their shots. 

Thanks Abba.