What time is it?

Summertime! It's my vacation! (Yes, I own High School Musical one AND two)

Tomorrow is my last day of teaching. I want to say that I'll miss my children, want them again next year, sad to see them leave. That would be a lie. In all truthfulness... I can't wait to see them leave! Can I send them home sooner?! Don't judge me too harshly. Come walk a day in my shoes (size 6 1/2) I am worn out completely. There is nothing left to give but a hug and "have a good summer".
Speaking of summer...a time of renewal and sunblock. I love this time. For six weeks I get to do whatever I want! As long as I don't drive anywhere...gas is too expensive! I am so excited!

Only ten more days until I see my beloved again! I can't wait! I must admit I am a tad nervous. What do you say to someone you've had little (and I mean little) contact with for six weeks? This is not a made for TV movie here. There won't be any orchestra music playing in the background. More than likely I won't recognize him in his uniform. I...I... sigh.

Sometimes I can't get past the little things. They seem silly to say out loud, but they are real fears to me. For example my daughter (I'm not going to name which one in case she ever reads this)
"mom"

"yes dear"

"I don't want to have my tonsils taken out"

"does your throat hurt?"

"No, I just don't want to have them taken out"

"I don't think you need to worry about that right now, I still have mine"


"I know, it's just, I know it will hurt and I don't want to do it"


She was totally worrying about things beyond her control AND things that haven't happened yet or things that might not even happen. I personally think it is silly to worry about having your tonsils taken out, but that was a real fear to her at the time. All I could do was shake my head and wonder why she was so worried.
I don't know what's going to happen when I go to Texas, I have no control over what will happen, it's not even happened yet. Go back to my top ten list and read number nine... I am a worrier.

I wonder if God just looks at me and shakes his head with a small smile. "there goes that Carrie again, worrying about what she can't control. Doesn't she know I AM? Oh child, relax and let me handle it."

Okay Abba.

Carrie's top ten list...

So Jake has been gone for about two and a half weeks. Only 15 more to go. SIGH.
This is actually been a semi-good thing. I am learning a lot about myself and God. I feel like God is chipping away at the wall around my heart. He has taken my face in his hands and made me look in His eyes. He has hedged me in. Continually over these past 16 days, God has proven His faithfulness and love to me. You would think I'd be less worried about things.
I am finding out what I am made of. And since it's not much, I'm finding out what I am made of plus a little help from my friends (insert song), and a huge support from my Abba.

Here are the top ten things I am learning about myself:

1. I don't sleep well without Jake.
2. Absence DOES make the heart grow fonder.
3. God does not abandon those with tiny faith.
4. Single parenting sucks!!!
5. I am tired!
6. I am strong - sometimes
7. I have incredible family and friends!
8. I love my next door neighbor for buying a riding lawn mower!
9. I am a worrier.

and number 10. I would make a crappy carpenter.