favorite song #456

I have so many favorite songs.  This one is from Rich Mullins.  

Well, sometimes my life
Just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something
I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees

And this Salvation Army band
Is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin 

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf You have been King of my glory Won't You be my Prince of Peace 

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

my FOUR promises.

Life is all about ups and downs.  There are bumps in the road and points of divided roads (and I chose the one less traveled).  Moments of triumph and moments of failure.  It seems that as I look back over my short life I see more moments of struggle than anything else.  I don't begin to compare my life to anyone else in this world.  I can only look at my 33 years and no one else.  Over my life I have had promises made and promises broken.  I have struggled the most with one promise in particular. 

I have begged this person to give me my promise back.  I have struggled and wrestled with my inability to understand why this promise has been withheld from me.  After two years of this fight I finally gave it to my Abba.  Funny, but this struggle was again met head on at a small group.  My belief in God working through others is renewed and strengthened!   I would not bring my desire of renewed promises to this person again.  If the subject is brought up it would be from God working in this person. 

At church we are studying Exodus.  One teaching mentioned the Passover meal and the four cups and how they are drunk in remembrance of God's four promises to the Israelites.  One cup for each promise.   My attention was grabbed at the word promise.  As I sat there and listened to the promises being read I couldn't get past the word promise.

"I will bring you out"
"I will rescue you"
"I will redeem you"
"I will take you as my own people"

As the promises were read again we were asked to repeat them.  As I said them I began to weep.  There are moments when the Spirit speaks to our souls.  This was one of those moments.  As I sat there and cried the Spirit whispered the promises to me, surrounding me with his grace. 

Carrie, I will bring you out of this...you already have.
Carrie, I will rescue you...I need rescuing.
Carrie, I will redeem you...Thank you Jesus!
Carrie, I will take you as my own...grace undeserved, relentlessly pursued, I don't understand but I will accept

As I was thinking about this promise made to me...it hit me.  Not only did God give me my promise I so desired...he gave me four.

it's the little things

Every month I receive flowers from my husband.  To some (mostly men) this seems like a waste of time and money.  It makes me feel loved and thought of.  (Isn't that what we women want?)  Jake usually waits until the last day of the month to get me flowers...I don't care what day it is...I love getting them!  

Being the good wife that I am, I had resigned myself to fact that I wasn't going to receive any flowers this month.  (Seeing how Jake has no access to the internet or money AND he is 300 miles away, I figured this month, I'd cut him some slack.) 

Friday, during my reading group time, my Curriculum Coach walks into my  room holding a huge box.  It was a white and purple flower box!  My hands trembled as I opened the box.  Inside were some of the most beautiful roses I have ever seen!  Pink, yellow and orange blossoms were nestled inside the box next to a card.  Tears immediately filled my eyes as I read the note attached:  "I didn't forget". 

I am so lucky.