What if?

I've been asked to take photos at my friend's wedding.  There are no words to describe the joy and fear I have inside of me at this exact moment.

I feel like Indiana Jones in The Last Crusade.  The part where he's standing at the edge of a huge abyss.  His dad's notes are telling him to jump.  Have faith…and walk across the abyss.  He hesitates…as would anyone faced with this dilemma.  Two choices are before him. He can go back to what he knows.  What feels safe.   But, if he chooses this path, his dad will probably die.  Or, he can (pardon the pun) take a leap of faith.  If he choses to leap, his dad will most likely live and he will go finding things that belong in museums.

Two things I know for sure.  Number one: I want out of teaching.  Number two: I love to take pictures.

So many questions, unknowns and doubts surround me.  What if I leap and there is no camouflaged ledge there to catch me?  What if I screw the wedding pictures up?  What if I can't take pictures as well as others who do this for a living?   What if I quit my job and then I don't make any more money with photography?  What if I'm supposed to teach?  What if I could make it as a photographer but I don't step out on faith? What does God want?!  What if….what if…WHAT IF?

Ummm…I have a question.

I ask A LOT of questions sometimes.  Okay, pretty much all the time.  I can't help it.  I ask them for the two main reasons most people ask questions:  1. I don't know and 2. I want to know more.  This morning
I was reading from Isaiah 49:5-7 (MSG)

"And now," God says, this God who took me in hand from the moment of birth to be his servant, to bring Jacob back home to him, to set a reunion for Israel - What an honor for me in God's eyes!  That God should be my strength!  He says, "But that's not a big enough job for my servant - just to recover the tribes of Jacob, merely to round up the strays of Israel.  I'm setting you up as a light for the nations so that my salvation becomes global!"  God, Redeemer of Israel, the Holy of Israel, says to the despised one, kicked around by the nations, slave labor to the ruling class:  "Kings will see, get to their feet - the princes, too - and then fall on their faces in homage because of God, who has faithfully kept his word, The Holy of Israel, who has chosen you."

I so glad God's plan included more than the Jews.  I'm so glad that God's plan to put his family back together includes me, well EVERYBODY!  I've never questioned God or his existence.  I don't struggle with "is there a God?"  I don't know if it's the way I was raised or if I was created that way.  But for that, I am thankful.

This is good, because pretty much everything else is subject for questioning.

I don't have a good title for this one, but you have to have a title so I typed in this

My mom got me a devotional book for Christmas.  I admit I'm not real big on devotional books.  Mostly because the whole purpose is to spend time with God everyday.  I usually start off strong.  Reading the devotion, reading my Bible and praying.  Then...life happens and the devotional books sits beside my bed mocking me.  A small reminder that I'm a failure, again.   I usually don't even start reading them anymore.  For some reason I've started this one.  And I can honestly say I'm glad.  Not so much for the insight from the author (which isn't bad).  More for the scripture she has us read (I'm surprised the scripture is good and applicable to my life - ha!)   I think I'm going to start posting the scriptures that really "jump" out at me.  Not so that I can add these wonderful, "life changing" thoughts to them.  No, a more selfish reason.  My hope is that by typing them and re-reading my posts, I will commit some of these to memory.   I hope that if you are reading these, they will speak to you too.


Today is a combination of two days:

Job 12: 13 (MSG)
"True wisdom and real power belong to God; from him we learn how to live, and also what to live for."

Ecclesiastes 5:1-6 (MSG)
"Watch your step when you enter God's house.  Enter to learn.  That's far better than mindlessly offering a sacrifice, doing more harm than good.  Don't shoot off your mouth, or speak before you think.  Don't be too quick to tell God what you think he wants to hear.  God's in charge, not you - the less you speak, the better.  Over-work makes for restless sleep, over-talk shows you up as a fool.  When you tell God you'll do something, do it - now.  God takes no pleasure in foolish gabble.  Vow it, then do it.  Far better not to vow in the first place than to vow and not pay up.  Don't let your mouth make a total sinner of you."

Tyson

Here are a few pictures of a new favorite subject.  He and big sister Elliot are just about the cutest kids around!  Here's hoping for more opportunities to take pictures of them!

the most wonderful time of the year

  I used to love this time of year as a child.  What happened?!  

I know I'm not the only one that suffers from loosing the "magic" of Christmas.  I've talked with many people about this and all seem to wish to live in the past.  Wanting to recapture memories of their youth.  Why?

As I look at my Christmas holiday this year I find myself more on the Grinch side than the Holly and Jolly. Why?

I have no idea.  I have no sage advice.  I don't even know the correct questions to ask.

I know the story behind Christmas...I try to live it out everyday.  I know the "true meaning" of Christmas.  I know it's not about the gifts.   I know it comes every year.  I also know it comes with a lot of work.  Maybe that's what I'm growling about.  Christmas = LOTS of work.

I'll have to sit and ponder that one for a while...

I taught them in kindergarten

Here are a few pictures I took of some of my favorite people!  I've known these girls since the oldest was five!  I taught both of them when they were in kindergarten.  Now look at them, beautiful young ladies.  My how time flies!

Finished pictures - Tyson in the hospital

These are just some of my friend's new son!  The whole family was adorable to watch.  Especially big sister!  I think one of my favorites is the one where she's giving him love-ins.