My husband and the Air Force

So my husband wants to become part of the army of one. Oh wait, that's for the army. Ummm... Force of one?

Anyway, his brother has convinced him that the Air Force National Guard is the only way to go. Jake is, shall we say, a Jack-of-all-trades. He is too smart to stay focused on one thing. He loves to aquire knowledge and is always trying new things. It is one of the many things I like about him. Jake has wanted to go into the armed services ever since I've met him. The last time he mentioned it to me, I had just had our first child. This is how the conversation went down.

J: "Hey sweetheart!"

C: (sigh) "what do you want?"

J: "Well I was just thinking about joining the army and..."

C: "NO!"

J: "I'll get to travel and earn money."

C:"And die"

J: "I won't die. There's not even a war going on." (The 2nd Gulf war started like two weeks later)

C: "Do you love me?"

J: "Of course"

C: "Then no!"

J: "But..."

C: "If you do, I'll be gone when you get back"

J: (BIG DRAMATIC SIGH)"Fine"

This time I tried the "supportive wife" role. Now with promises of money, glory and all that other crap they feed you, he is off to talk to a recruiter tomorrow. Of course the wife isn't allowed to come. At least that's what has been told to me via the husband. Personally, I think he's afraid to take me. I might actually ask a question - oooooh scary.

I have had to ask myself two tough and personal questions.

Can I support him in this? Yes.

Will I be okay if he dies? (did he take out the maximum in insurance?) Yes.

I think God has been showing me that I will be okay without Jake. Do I love him? Of course! Is he my life? No. That has been a hard transition. You see from the time I've been able to remember, I've had this idea that a husband was going to be the answer to all of lifes problems. You need help? Ask your husband. Flat tire? Husband can change it. Money issues? Your husband can help. Questions about life? Ask your husband. Need someone to love you? Get a husband. Need fullfillment spiritually? Get a husband. Need your physical needs met? Husband.

I know that sounds silly. As I write the words, I can't believe them myself. But it's true! I looked to Jake to fullfill all my needs. Then when that didn't turn out so well (I'll save all that for another post) I looked to myself.

Yes, I went from one loser to another.

By the time I finally realized that I am no better than Jake (hard, HARD lesson) and that God was who I needed to look to, Jake was back around with the whole joining of the Air Force thing.

So, long story longer, because Jake is not my end all, I can be at peace with him in the military. Will I be happy all the time? - No way! But at least I know in my heart of hearts that I will be taken care of. God will supply all my needs!